


Searching for the Light

by sushigirlali



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Death is only the beginning, Declarations Of Love, Dreams, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force-Vision, Kissing, True Love's Kiss, ben solo is my favorite disney princess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 07:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17018247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushigirlali/pseuds/sushigirlali
Summary: Rey has a Force-vision of Ben's death, but is there anything she can do to save him?





	Searching for the Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grliegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grliegirl/gifts).



**Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars or anything that relates to Star Wars.

 **Rating:** T

 **Continuity:** Post TLJ

 **A/N:** I don't usually do angst, but I got this idea while listening to Body In A Box by City and Colour on the way home from work after a discussion about love songs vs angsty songs with my wifey grliegirl! Please review and check out my many other fics if you find this little story enjoyable. Thanks!

* * *

**Searching for the Light  
By: sushigirlali**

* * *

_We celebrate the lives of the dead_  
_It's like a man's best party only happens when he dies_  
_We gather 'round to pay our respects_  
_While their souls are still searching for the light_  
_Searching for the light_

* * *

Rey felt like she was floating, drifting in a dream not her own.

 _No, not a dream,_ she realized, sensing the energy field flowing around her. She was communing with the Force, with him. _But where is he? Where am I?_

A strange haze encircled her, gray and opaque, making it difficult to see more than a few feet in any direction. "Ben?" Rey asked uneasily. "Are you here? I can't see you."

A bright white light burst into life at her words, revealing a hidden pathway to her right. Holding up a hand to lessen the glare, Rey attempted to locate the source of the light, but found it was impossible to do so without getting closer.

_Rey…_

Jumping as a disembodied voice called out from the abyss, Rey held very still, listening intently. When nothing but silence met her ear, she cautiously followed the narrow trail deeper into the fog, compelled to investigate the strange occurrence.

Whatever was happening, it was different from every other time she'd connected with Ben through the Force. Their bond was a living thing, growing deeper with every moment they spent in each other's company, regardless of how far apart their corporeal bodies were. So, the fact that Ben was not responding to her now was highly concerning.

Anxiously picking up her pace, Rey was nearly running by the time the shadowy outline of a large rectangular _something_ emerged from the void. The ethereal glow around the object sharpened the closer she got, revealing an intricately designed silver casket.

Stopping in her tracks a few feet away, fear slowly filled her heart and choked her lungs. The cloudy image of a man with inky hair and dark clothing was partially visible through the glass enclosure, though she could not yet see his face.

_No…no, it can't be..._

Inching closer, she bravely brushed her hand over the misty surface, clearing away the visual barrier that separated her from the man under the dome.

"No!" she gasped, clutching her heart as she recognized Ben Solo's pallid features.

Stumbling backwards into the fog, Rey tipped over some invisible precipice, falling for what seemed like an eternity before landing with a thud on the hard ground.

* * *

"Ben!" Rey screamed, jerking awake as she tumbled off her bed and onto the floor.

Tears streaking down her cheeks in an uncontrollable flood of grief, Rey struggled to stop crying long enough to breath.

"It's not real," she whispered, shakily pulling herself into a sitting position. "It's not real, he's alive."

The haunting image of Ben's still form was burned into her brain, forcing her to finally accept the depth of her feelings for the beautifully damaged man. Despite everything, he had captured her heart.

But was it too late now? She had to know.

Folding her legs under her, Rey ruthlessly pushed down her distress, seeking her equal in the Force with a strength she'd only scratched the surface of before.

"Ben?" she entreated softly. "Ben, are you there?"

Rey felt a familiar surge of warmth, giving her a modicum of hope. Rubbing her eyes like a child, she tried again, more forcefully this time.

"Ben, please come to me! I need you!"

Another rush of heat washed over her, like a phantom embrace, but still, he didn't materialize. What else could she do? Untrained as she was, Rey was at a loss for what to try next.

"Leia," she suddenly remembered, thumping herself on the forehead. "Of course! I need to talk to Leia, she'll know what to do."

Bracing herself against the side of the bed, Rey tugged on her boots and staggered out the door, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It can't be real, it can't be real," she repeated like a mantra, racing down the stark white hallway leading to the command center, "it was just a dream, it can't be real."

Skidding around an errant astromech droid, Rey was panting by the time she neared the heavy blast door concealing her final destination. Not stopping to scan her palm print, she pried the door open with a flick of her wrist.

"General!" she exclaimed, bursting into the crowded room like a shot. "I think there might be something wrong with Ben, have you—General?" Rey faltered at the sight of her mentor's crumpled form; the older woman was openly weeping in the circle of Kaydel's arms. "What's happened?" Rey said in alarm.

"Hux's latest speech just broadcasted galaxy-wide," Poe said unevenly, nodding toward the communications console. "I'm sorry, Rey, but Kylo Ren is...well…"

Crossing the room as the Commander awkwardly trailed off, Rey quickly brought up Hux's holographic message.

"It is with great sorrow that I must report the passing of our venerated Supreme Leader," he started with a condescending smirk. "I've been told that it was an unfortunate accident, but nevertheless, Kylo Ren is dead. As a result, I, Armitage Hux, have decided to assume command of the First Order, ensuring that…"

But she'd already stopped listening, the phrase, "Kylo Ren is dead," clanging loudly in her ears. Rey fell to her knees, feeling Ben's loss with such anguish that she knew she'd never be whole again. _How could this be?_

"Rey!" Finn cried, racing to her side. "Are you alright?"

She shook her head, trying to make sense of it all. _Come on, Rey! He can't be dead! If he was, you'd know it. The Force was trying to show you something, now think!_ Although she hadn't been able to contact Ben directly, she _had_ felt something during the attempt, almost like he was in the room with her…

"Where's his body?" Rey demanded, shooting back to her feet. "He's here, isn't he? I want to see his body."

"Our long-range transport just got back," Finn confirmed. "Hux wanted to 'give the General her son back' as some sort of sick negotiation tactic," he added in disgust. "As if that would make up for assassinating her only son."

"Where is he?" Rey said impatiently, not in the least bit interested in military maneuvers at the moment.

"Med bay five," Poe informed her, looking up from his datapad. "They just unloaded his…coffin."

Rey's whole body clenched at his choice of words, but she managed to nod and walk out the door without collapsing again. "Then that's where I'll be."

* * *

Staring down at the same silver box that had called out to her in her dreams, Rey took a deep breath before unlatching the bolts sealing the glass top to the metal frame. It was an old-fashioned sort of contraption, not at all like the crude shipping container she'd used to board the Supremacy.

 _He is a prince, after all,_ she mused, taking in his regal uniform and aristocratic features, _and I'm, well…_ It was incredible that they had met at all, given their stations in life. In fact, life on Jakku and Chandrila was so different that—

"Stop procrastinating, Rey," she said forcefully, breaking up her own internal monologue. She was here to save Ben. Her focus had to be on him. She didn't know how she knew this, but she did.

Stepping up to the edge of the cushion lined box, Rey carefully grasped his hand. _Ben? Can you hear me?_ she probed, scanning their usual mental link.

A gentle glow enveloped him at her touch, but the phenomenon only lasted for a moment before dissipating. Encouraged by the minute reaction, Rey leaned over the side of the box and pressed her cheek against the firm contours of his muscular chest. She couldn't hear a heartbeat, nor did he appear to be breathing, but his body was warm and pliable.

Pulling back, Rey brushed his tousled hair behind his ears before lowering her lips to within an inch of his own. _Ben? she said tentatively. Don't be alarmed, but I'm going to try something._ And then she kissed him.

_Rey?_

Her head shot up as his rich baritone rolled over her, solid and clear. "Ben!" But his dark eyes were still closed, his massive form still unmoving. "Blast," she sighed as his body shone for a few more seconds before burning out; it was almost like when Master Luke communicated to her from beyond the grave. "Well, I'm on the right track at least." Rey nervously chewed the inside of her cheek. "I think."

Blushing as she framed his pale face between her shaky hands, Rey slid her lips across his scared cheek to capture his mouth once again. But this time, she didn't falter when Ben uttered her name.

_Rey?_

_Ben?! Oh, thank the stars!_ she cried in relief. _What happened?_

 _Hux. Coup,_ he said shortly.

_But you survived?_

_Yes._

_How?_

_Meditation. The Force._

_So, how do I pull you out of it?_

_I…can't remember,_ he replied quietly.

Rey tangled her thin fingers in his soft raven locks, needing something to hold onto. _Ben, please try! Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you,_ she promised desperately.

_Can't think. Cold. Alone._

_You're not alone,_ she insisted, kissing him harder. _I'm here, Ben. I'll always be here because I—because I love you! So, I need you to fight and—_

_Rey._

_Yes?_ she encouraged.

 _Thank you,_ he said weakly.

 _Ben?_ Rey whispered, terrified by his tone. _Don't you dare leave me, Ben Solo! Ben? Ben!_

But he didn't answer.

"No!" she burst out, roughly shaking his broad shoulders. "Dammit, Ben, you have to let me help you! Please!" Great wracking sobs jolted her slender body when he remained motionless. "No, no, no! This can't be happening! Not you too!" Rey covered her face with her hands, unable to continue looking at his lifeless form. "Damn you, Ben Solo! I could have helped you!" she cried brokenly.

"But you did," croaked the dead man beneath her. "You saved me."

Rey froze, disbelieving, almost afraid to drop the barrier in front of her eyes. "Ben?"

"I'm sorry if I scared you, but I didn't really have a choice," he said ruefully, pulling her hands to his chest. "I've been looking for a way out of the First Order for months, but every alternative I could think of involved putting you at risk."

"Then how…?" she started, searching his dark eyes.

"Hux was planning to poison my drink last night at dinner, so I let him believe that he'd succeeded," Ben informed her. "My guards switched out the tainted wine before it ever reached the table."

"But how did you find out about the plot?" Rey inquired, brows furrowing at the thought of someone trying to murder the man she loved in such an underhanded way.

"I read his mind," Ben smirked. "Despite his bravado, he's very weak-minded."

"He does seem rather pretentious on the evening propaganda reel," Rey laughed. "What happened next?"

"I went back to my quarters and meditated for hours and hours, communing so deeply with the Force that I fell into death-like state," he explained. "Giving Hux exactly what he wanted was the only way that I could make it out of there alive," he added.

"But how did you know that he'd deliver your body to the Resistance? What was stopping him from blowing you out the airlock?" she asked uneasily.

"Because it's exactly what his father would have done," Ben said simply. "Shoving the death of a child into an adversary's face is ruthless, but effective. I can't imagine my mother is handling my supposed demise well?" he said a little uncertainly.

"Of course not! Leia's devastated!" Rey assured him. "We should call for her—"

"In a minute, there's something I have to say," he murmured, reaching up to caress her tearstained cheek. "The last thing I remember before waking up here, in your arms, was this overwhelming sense of belonging," he said tenderly. "I've been so lost without you, Rey, and that feeling carried over into my trance. Even though I was doing it for you, for us, I couldn't find my way back, not until you told me that you loved—mmph!"

Rey slammed her mouth down on his, stealing his breath away with a soul-searing kiss. _I love you, I love you, I love,_ she chanted in his mind. _Never leave me again._

Ben smiled against her lips, sensing that no further explanation was needed. _I love you too, sweetheart, and I'm not going anywhere._

* * *

Standing just outside the doorway, Finn observed the enthusiastic couple with a kind smile. Kylo Ren wasn't the first person he would've picked for his best friend to fall in love with, but Rey had obviously made her choice, and he couldn't be happier for her.

"Poe, you better get Leia up here quick," Finn said into his comlink. "She's going to want to see—" Finn's eyebrows darted up as Rey started groping for the edge of Ben's tunic. "On second thought, maybe give it a few minutes. Or twenty."

-FIN-

* * *

**A/N:** Ben Solo is my favorite Disney princess, so obviously this fic had to have a happy ending! I hope you weren't expecting anything different from me? :P Check out my other fics if you'd like to read more, I have a lot lol


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